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scvdder: a golden-haired man with a pointy moustache and a sharp suit leaning over on one elbow in interest (Default)
Theodore

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THEODORE (he/him). An old diary of sorts. Writer & amateur language learner. Voracious reader. I may kick around here again someday.

»It comes to this then: there always have been people like me and always will be, and generally they have been persecuted.« —Maurice, E.M. Forster

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scvdder: painting of soft blue clouds (clouds)
The Master has no mind of her own.
She works with the mind of the people.
 
She is good to people who are good.
She is also good to people who aren't good.
This is true goodness.
 
She trusts people who are trustworthy.
She also trusts people who aren't trustworthy.
This is true trust.
 
The Master's mind is like space.
People don't understand her.
They look to her and wait.
She treats them like her own children.

Every time I read the Dao De Jing, I feel it resonate with me every time I read it. Even when I was Christian, I didn't particularly like the bible. But this book? Perhaps one of the best I've read. Definitely the most helpful and wise. This is the sort of book you base a two-thousand-year-old religion on.

I've been reading it less of late. When I do read it, I only read a few chapters at a time for though it is short, there is often much to stew on. I've been waiting for the copy I ordered to arrive but I am impatient, and reading it will do no harm. I also want to read more first thing in the morning but my tendency to stay up (it is currently 23:18 and I have school tomorrow) coupled with my lack of phone and therefore no alarm, there is no way I can do that now. When I do get the opportunity, though, I imagine having such wise words bouncing around in my head before school will make my day better. I'd also like to get into the habit of tai chi. I have tried it once, and found it much more effective than my attempts at yoga (perhaps because there is emphasis on fluid movement rather than stillness and that gives me something to latch on to).

The other day, my father said "when you research all these ideas such as Marxism and Daoism, do you think of what Jesus would do?" which seems like such a strange question, but one I can only afford to answer evasively. When I turn 18 in November, my father will respect my decision to stop going to church, if I so decide but that is a conversation I've been avoiding for some years. I'm still quite a spiritual person, but I've found my path has led me away from Christianity. And defending this to my dad is not something I look forward to. He is kind and not conservative but he is faithfully Christian and will be very disappointed in me. By the way things are going, he should get used to that feeling.

Anyway, Daoism has been the most positive thing in my life this year and has been great for my mental health. I only wish there were more accessible communities and resources about it.

stoicism.

Mon, Aug. 7th, 2017 08:00 pm
scvdder: a still of Achilles and Patroclus kissing from the stop-motion short film 'Achilles' (achilles and patroclus)
Today, whilst listening to a new favourite podcast of mine, Maybe We'll Learn Something? (itunes; soundcloud), I discovered Stoicism. If you, like me, are new to this, Stoicism is a Hellenistic philosophy about accepting that the worst things in life will happen to you and learning to lie with that. It sounds incredibly grim and perhaps it is but it's not altogether depressing because Stoicism teaches that bad shit will happen but you'll be okay. You could go to prison and it would be bad, but you'd still get through it, as others have before you. 

Stoicism is an extremely practical practice, too. Stoics often face what they dread head on, such as leaving the comfort of a home and good food to see that what they fear really isn't that bad. I often find that the anticipation of pain is far worse than the pain itself.

For some time, I've had the motto "adapt or die" as I've gone through personal hardship, but this mindset doesn't have the confidence that Stoicism offers. Honestly, I don't know how much I like it. It has some elements from Daoism which I've come to appreciate (to stop trying to enforce your control on forces greater than you; exempting political issues of course) but I like the spiritual side of Daoism and I find Stoicism somewhat nihilistic. That being said, I have had experiences where changing my perspective from one of fear to one of determination has been tremendously powerful. So perhaps this will be complimentary to my study of Daoism.


Side note: I had some gift cards that were to expire this month so I used them to order a copy of The Tao of Pooh to get me started and my current favourite translation of the Dao De Jing (Stephen Mitchell's) along with some make up brushes and some calligraphy pens. I can't wait for them to arrive!
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